Shooting Mia Maids in the Bowling Valley

Lydia (at bedtime): I wanna give Papa (grandpa) his night night hug.
Adam: you can't Papa's not here.
Lydia: Where is Papa...What is Papa's adventure?
Adam: Papa is out shooting (trap shooting) with Auntie Heather and Uncle Thomas.
Lydia: I wanna go shooting with Papa!
Adam: You're not old enough to go shooting.
Lydia: I'm gonna be a Sunbeam...then I'll be old enough to go shooting with Papa and Auntie Heather.
Adam: No, you have to be a Mia Maid to be old enough to go shooting.
Lydia: Grandpa's a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope, he's not.
Lydia: Grandma's a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope she's not either.
Lydia: You're a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope, I'm not.
Silence...
Lydia: When I'm a Pia Maid, I'll be able to go to the bowling valley and look at the tunnel the ball comes out of and there will be the finger pinchy thingy and not touch it and the rolly thing that the balls roll down at the bowling valley.
Adam: (groggilly): I think you're getting tired. 

Santa wears clothes cause he's a boy.

Lydia as she hands me a clothes pin: Here Daddy, take this! I don't need it 'cause my hair is too small and Santa is a boy so he wears clothes.

Armpit hugs

Lydia: Daddy, I want you to give me an armpit hug. (hug you between your chest and your upper arm.)
Daddy: No, I'm not going to give you an armpit hug.
Lydia: I want you to give me a nose pit hug.
Daddy: I don't have any nose pits.
Lydia: Give me an eye glasses hug...an eye ga-looooshes hug.
Daddy: I'm not wearing my eye glasses.
Lydia: eye galooshes, eye glasses... 

Bunny Eats Fox

Lydia at bedtime while she flips through the tags attached to her sleep pad: Once upon a time...(flip) there was a bunny who was looking for his friend fox (flip). Then the fox came (flip). And the bunny ate the fox (flip). The end! Now it's your turn to read the story.

Mouse Goes into a House

Lydia at bedtime while she flips through the tags attached to her sleep pad: Once upon a time...(flip) there was a mouse (flip), and he went into a house (flip). The end. Now you read the story! 

Swan Princess

Lydia as she dumps over a hundred cookie cutters on Adam: "You need water because you're the swan princess."

Fancy Pants

Mary: Lydia, pull your pants and pull up down like you know how to.
Lydia as she waves her bum in the air: No, 'cause these pants are too fancy
Adam: (Stifled laugh)
Mary: You don't tell Mommy "No".