"Butt Holes"

The yard is getting more undulating and the kids like to fill the little holes with water. Because we live in WA and the water table is so high (that's my guess anyway), the water doesn't drain very well. So they fill up the holes and stomp around in them and make a muddy mess. This practice of course makes the holes a little deeper. 

The other day I came out and saw Lydia and Henry sitting in the holes then moving from hole to hole saying, "Henry! Come sit in my butthole!" Then Henry, "Lydia, you need to try my butthole! It's a good one!" 

I had a good laugh and we renamed the holes "Butt Pits". Hopefully the neighbors won't call CPS...

Magic 8 Ball Backfires

Mary's cousin got a magic 8-ball for Christmas. Lydia asked it, "Will Daddy Vomit on Christmas?"

Why? Because she's Lydia. 

Christmas came and early evening Lydia got a headache and her stomach didn't feel well. She went upstairs to rest in the dark. She vomited twice and was quarantined the rest of the night. 

Christmas magic backfire!

Words that rhyme with "it"...

Mary: Can you think of some words that rhyme with "it"?

Henry: Pit

Mary: Good. What else?

Henry: Tit?...Is that a word Mommy?

Mary: Yes. Tit is a word.

Henry: (thinks for a moment)...Have you ever seen one?

Adam: (giggles)

Mary: Yes, I have seen one. Can you think of any more words that rhyme with "it"?

A Dinosaur with a Henry Head

Lydia pretends to be afraid of the dark sometimes at night so I'll stay in the room and give her a couple chances to tell me what monster or whatever she thinks she sees that she knows is really just something that belongs in her room. Then I shine the light of my phone on it to reveal that it really is just the thing that she knows it is that belongs in the room.

Henry: Daddy, I want to do one.
Adam: Okay, what are you pretending that you see?
Henry: There is a dinosaur...up there...with a Henry head.
Adam: (Shines light) But it's really just a picture of your feet when you were a baby.

Clock Plant

Henry: Can I have a prayer tonight?
Adam: Yes.
Henry: Can I whisper in your ear?
Adam: Yeah.
Henry: (whispering quietly) That no asteroids will hit us (frequent request from Lydia) and no clocks will hit us.
Adam: Says prayer including no asteroids or clocks hitting any of us.
Lydia: But clocks don't fall from the sky!
Adam: One time there was a tornado over a lake and the fish got sucked up and fell all over the place. If there was a tornado over a clock plant maybe Henry's prayer would let Heavenly Father know we need some help to not get hit by a clock. (Adam starts walking out of the room.)
Lydia: But there's no trees...There's no such thing as a clock plant!
Adam: (Dawning on him that there is more than one meaning to the word plant) Lydia, the word plant can mean factory...if there was a tornado over the clock factory.

Funny that Mary and Lydia were reading Ozma of Oz and in tonight's chapter Dorothy ate lunch from a tree that grew lunch boxes with sandwiches. No idea how Lydia was imagining those clocks, but she was standing her ground that there was no such thing as a clock plant.

Messing, Chewing, Licking

Lydia: My "right here" hurts. (Points at her wrist) 

Mary: Have you been messing with it, chewing on it, or licking it?

Lydia: I've been messing with it, chewing on it, AND licking it!

Adam: (Looks at Mary bewildered) How on earth did you know!?!

I Changed My Mind

Henry walks over to Adam with his hands cupped like he's holding a bowl.
Henry: Aaaaoooomm. [He motions like he is eating something from what he is holding]
Henry: Dada, I changed my mind. I put a new mind in my mouth and here's my old mind. Please hold my mind so I don't lose it.
Adam: Ooohh, Okay. [Adam takes Henry's mind carefully and holds it in his hands.]
Adam: Where should we put it?
Henry: I don't know.
Adam: Let's put it where Peter can't get it. How about up on the piano.
Henry: Yeah! Please put my mind on the piano where Peter won't get it.

Adam walks over and puts Henry's old mind with his rock collection where he won't lose it.

Quick Sunday and Bless Yous

Lydia: "Every Sunday when I get to talk in church it's called 'quick Sunday'"
Mary (after thinking for a few minutes): "You mean 'fast Sunday'?"
Lydia: "Yup"
(Adam had told Lydia about fast Sunday after getting home from church and she had gone up to bear her testimony in church that day)

Henry: "Henry bless you-d twice! ... Mommy should tell Henry, 'bless you bless you'."

Because Why!

Adam: Why are you making that face?
Henry: Because why?

later...

Lydia does something absurd...

Mary: Why did you do that?
Lydia: Because
Mary: Because why?
Lydia: Because I felt like it! (the most likely answer for a 4-year old)
Adam in his head: Ohhhh, now I understand Henry, he learned that from Mommy!

Sneeze

Henry: Achoooo
Lydia: Bleech. Mom, Henry Bless You-ed on me!

Henry Scratched Me With His Teeth

Lydia and Henry have been getting baths together lately because it's easier than trying to keep one of them out. Henry is getting more protective of his space and both Lydia and Henry are enjoying playing together more often. The other day Lydia was getting into Henry's personal space and pushing him with her elbow and shoulder. Henry, who usually just takes the abuse and pushes back with one hand or sucks his thumb and hopes she will go away, instead pulled a fast reversal and pushed her onto all fours, double handed karate chopped her across the back and then promptly bit her left shoulder blade.

I must admit that she had it coming and I was a little proud of my little guy, but biting is almost never the answer.

Lydia in between whimpers: Henry scratched me in a strange way...wah...Henry scraaatched me with his teeth!

Horses in Their Car Seats

Was driving Lydia in the car several months ago. (Mary usually drives)
Lydia: You're 'tending (pretending) to be Mama.
Adam: 'Cause I'm sitting in Mama's seat?
Lydia: Yeah, and there are horses pulling the car and baby horses buckled in their car seats, and the mama horses are pulling the car!
(Don't know if we talked about horse power, or if she was just into horses at the time)

Funeral Home

Took the kids walking in our new town today. We walked by the local funeral home and I told Lydia that it was a building they used to have a church-like meeting after somebody dies to remember them before they are buried.
Lydia:Why?
Adam: So they can remember them before they bury them.
Lydia: Why do they bury them?
Adam: That's just what they do with dead bodies...so they don't stink.
Lydia: Can we go try it out?
Adam: No.
Lydia: Why?
Adam: We can go try it out after we both have had a long, fulfilling life. Look at that building over there (subject change)...

Shooting Mia Maids in the Bowling Valley

Lydia (at bedtime): I wanna give Papa (grandpa) his night night hug.
Adam: you can't Papa's not here.
Lydia: Where is Papa...What is Papa's adventure?
Adam: Papa is out shooting (trap shooting) with Auntie Heather and Uncle Thomas.
Lydia: I wanna go shooting with Papa!
Adam: You're not old enough to go shooting.
Lydia: I'm gonna be a Sunbeam...then I'll be old enough to go shooting with Papa and Auntie Heather.
Adam: No, you have to be a Mia Maid to be old enough to go shooting.
Lydia: Grandpa's a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope, he's not.
Lydia: Grandma's a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope she's not either.
Lydia: You're a Pia Maid.
Adam: Nope, I'm not.
Silence...
Lydia: When I'm a Pia Maid, I'll be able to go to the bowling valley and look at the tunnel the ball comes out of and there will be the finger pinchy thingy and not touch it and the rolly thing that the balls roll down at the bowling valley.
Adam: (groggilly): I think you're getting tired. 

Santa wears clothes cause he's a boy.

Lydia as she hands me a clothes pin: Here Daddy, take this! I don't need it 'cause my hair is too small and Santa is a boy so he wears clothes.

Armpit hugs

Lydia: Daddy, I want you to give me an armpit hug. (hug you between your chest and your upper arm.)
Daddy: No, I'm not going to give you an armpit hug.
Lydia: I want you to give me a nose pit hug.
Daddy: I don't have any nose pits.
Lydia: Give me an eye glasses hug...an eye ga-looooshes hug.
Daddy: I'm not wearing my eye glasses.
Lydia: eye galooshes, eye glasses... 

Bunny Eats Fox

Lydia at bedtime while she flips through the tags attached to her sleep pad: Once upon a time...(flip) there was a bunny who was looking for his friend fox (flip). Then the fox came (flip). And the bunny ate the fox (flip). The end! Now it's your turn to read the story.

Mouse Goes into a House

Lydia at bedtime while she flips through the tags attached to her sleep pad: Once upon a time...(flip) there was a mouse (flip), and he went into a house (flip). The end. Now you read the story! 

Swan Princess

Lydia as she dumps over a hundred cookie cutters on Adam: "You need water because you're the swan princess."

Fancy Pants

Mary: Lydia, pull your pants and pull up down like you know how to.
Lydia as she waves her bum in the air: No, 'cause these pants are too fancy
Adam: (Stifled laugh)
Mary: You don't tell Mommy "No".