"Butt Holes"

The yard is getting more undulating and the kids like to fill the little holes with water. Because we live in WA and the water table is so high (that's my guess anyway), the water doesn't drain very well. So they fill up the holes and stomp around in them and make a muddy mess. This practice of course makes the holes a little deeper. 

The other day I came out and saw Lydia and Henry sitting in the holes then moving from hole to hole saying, "Henry! Come sit in my butthole!" Then Henry, "Lydia, you need to try my butthole! It's a good one!" 

I had a good laugh and we renamed the holes "Butt Pits". Hopefully the neighbors won't call CPS...

Magic 8 Ball Backfires

Mary's cousin got a magic 8-ball for Christmas. Lydia asked it, "Will Daddy Vomit on Christmas?"

Why? Because she's Lydia. 

Christmas came and early evening Lydia got a headache and her stomach didn't feel well. She went upstairs to rest in the dark. She vomited twice and was quarantined the rest of the night. 

Christmas magic backfire!

Words that rhyme with "it"...

Mary: Can you think of some words that rhyme with "it"?

Henry: Pit

Mary: Good. What else?

Henry: Tit?...Is that a word Mommy?

Mary: Yes. Tit is a word.

Henry: (thinks for a moment)...Have you ever seen one?

Adam: (giggles)

Mary: Yes, I have seen one. Can you think of any more words that rhyme with "it"?

A Dinosaur with a Henry Head

Lydia pretends to be afraid of the dark sometimes at night so I'll stay in the room and give her a couple chances to tell me what monster or whatever she thinks she sees that she knows is really just something that belongs in her room. Then I shine the light of my phone on it to reveal that it really is just the thing that she knows it is that belongs in the room.

Henry: Daddy, I want to do one.
Adam: Okay, what are you pretending that you see?
Henry: There is a dinosaur...up there...with a Henry head.
Adam: (Shines light) But it's really just a picture of your feet when you were a baby.

Clock Plant

Henry: Can I have a prayer tonight?
Adam: Yes.
Henry: Can I whisper in your ear?
Adam: Yeah.
Henry: (whispering quietly) That no asteroids will hit us (frequent request from Lydia) and no clocks will hit us.
Adam: Says prayer including no asteroids or clocks hitting any of us.
Lydia: But clocks don't fall from the sky!
Adam: One time there was a tornado over a lake and the fish got sucked up and fell all over the place. If there was a tornado over a clock plant maybe Henry's prayer would let Heavenly Father know we need some help to not get hit by a clock. (Adam starts walking out of the room.)
Lydia: But there's no trees...There's no such thing as a clock plant!
Adam: (Dawning on him that there is more than one meaning to the word plant) Lydia, the word plant can mean factory...if there was a tornado over the clock factory.

Funny that Mary and Lydia were reading Ozma of Oz and in tonight's chapter Dorothy ate lunch from a tree that grew lunch boxes with sandwiches. No idea how Lydia was imagining those clocks, but she was standing her ground that there was no such thing as a clock plant.

Messing, Chewing, Licking

Lydia: My "right here" hurts. (Points at her wrist) 

Mary: Have you been messing with it, chewing on it, or licking it?

Lydia: I've been messing with it, chewing on it, AND licking it!

Adam: (Looks at Mary bewildered) How on earth did you know!?!

I Changed My Mind

Henry walks over to Adam with his hands cupped like he's holding a bowl.
Henry: Aaaaoooomm. [He motions like he is eating something from what he is holding]
Henry: Dada, I changed my mind. I put a new mind in my mouth and here's my old mind. Please hold my mind so I don't lose it.
Adam: Ooohh, Okay. [Adam takes Henry's mind carefully and holds it in his hands.]
Adam: Where should we put it?
Henry: I don't know.
Adam: Let's put it where Peter can't get it. How about up on the piano.
Henry: Yeah! Please put my mind on the piano where Peter won't get it.

Adam walks over and puts Henry's old mind with his rock collection where he won't lose it.